Tuesday, 22 October 2019

सप्तरंग सकाळ पालक कट्टा २०१८ : लेखांच्या लिंक्स

सकाळच्या सप्तरंग पुरवणीमध्ये २०१८ मध्ये वर्षभर पालककट्टा या सदरात दर पंधरा दिवसांनी प्रसिद्ध झालेल्या लेखांच्या या लिंक्स:


वय कोवळे उन्हाचे... - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-106688

कायदा पाळा मतीचा  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-103603

‘सत्य’मेव जयते!  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/how-handle-children-tips-dr-vaishali-deshmukh-128989

कौतुकाचे बोल  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-159485

गटाची शक्ती  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-152084

ऑक्‍सिजनचा मास्क  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-115917

कमी वजनाची मुलं  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-109899

वजनी गट टाळण्यासाठी - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-112885

बदलांशी जुळवून घेताना... https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-119538

बोलण्याच्या गोष्टी-https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-149500

एकमेकां साह्य करू... - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-132425

परिपूर्णतेचं मिथक  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-guardianship-article-saptarang-161974

श्रमप्रतिष्ठा  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-141170

नकारायण  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-96041

धोक्‍याची (नकार)घंटा - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-93577

माध्यमभान...आपलं, मुलांचं! - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/saptarang-marathi-features-parenting-tips-vaishali-deshmukh-98524

केल्याने देशाटन - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-146812

टाळू बाष्कळ गप्पा - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/how-handle-teenagers-parenting-tips-vaishali-deshmukh-154040

निखळलेली फरशी  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-122660

समुपदेशन? बाप रे!  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-156656

घरातले रागरंग  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/saptarang-marathi-features-parenting-tips-vaishali-deshmukh-101006

एकटं की एकाकी?  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-125740

अपराध मीच केला?  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-91056

बाप-लेक  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/dr-vaishali-deshmukh-write-article-saptarang-138437

वडीलकीचं अवघड वळण  - https://www.esakal.com/saptarang/letter-teenagers-father-135704


Sunday, 20 October 2019

Hello! (A story)

(Published in Chhatraprabodhan September 2019)


  Lunch break in school was always a jam-packed affair. The break lasted only for twenty minutes. There were so many things to do! In that limited time, they had to run down to the playground, catch up with friends, exchange gossip, show off that new pen, wait in the toilet queue,… To add fire to fuel, the ninth grade class was on the fourth floor. So they had to battle the staircase traffic jam as well. Finishing lunch was considered the least important task. That too only because Mother checked the tiffin as soon as they reached home. Of course, there were some like Ravi who found innovative ways to get rid of the food! Nevertheless, most of them ate their tiffin.

  One of the touchiest issues during the break was the lunch group. The groups were made way back when they were in grade one. Once formed, the groups were quite tight. New members were hardly added. The rules were rigidly followed. There was always this fear of being thrown out of the group forever. So being in a particular group was considered to be a privilege.

  This year, there was a new girl in the class. Her name was Chitra. She was a quiet and shy girl. She ate her tiffin alone and sat reading in the remaining break time.

   Manasi always felt bad whenever she saw Chitra sitting alone. She once hesitatingly suggested her group that they include her, but they strongly opposed the idea. Rinku even hinted that probably she likes being alone and that they shouldn’t disturb her. But Manasi felt differently. So one day, she waited back during lunch hour and went to Chitra with her tiffin. “Hi Chitra, my name is Manasi. Can I join you for lunch?” Manasi said. “Of course” Chitra seemed genuinely happy. They shared their food and chatted. Soon, this became a routine. But the others in Manasi’s group refused to join them.
  One day, Manasi noticed that Chitra was absent. She asked her friends about it but nobody seemed bothered much. Later, the class teacher shared the news that Chitra had met with an accident while going home the day before and she was in the hospital. Manasi was shocked to hear the name of the hospital, it was a shabby hospital where none of them had ever been! She persuaded her friends to go meet Chitra. They were quite reluctant but Manasi was so insistent that they finally agreed.

  The next day was Sunday. They took permission from home and went to the hospital which was not far away. It was obvious that the hospital was not very well maintained. There was dirt and dust everywhere and stains of paan-spittings in each and every corner. Some relatives were sleeping in the veranda, others were waiting anxiously for the doctor. The atmosphere was filled with wretchedness and worry. A typical unpleasant hospital smell hung in the air. Manasi was used to it, her parents being doctors. But the rest of them were quite uncomfortable.

  They found Chitra in a ward. She was lying in bed with tubes attached to her arms. Her left leg was in plaster. Her face was miserable and tensed up. Her worried mother was sitting nearby. “Hi Chitra, how are you?” Manasi ventured hesitantly. Chitra seemed quite surprised to see the gang. “I am ok. Thanks for coming.” She said. They chatted on for some time. As time passed, they were surprised how easily the conversation flowed. With the exception of Manasi, everyone else realised that in spite of being in the same class for six whole months, they had hardly interacted with Chitra. This was probably the first time that they were actually conversing with her. She sounded quite intelligent and well read. This was a very different girl from the silent classmate they knew. They joked and laughed a lot. When they left, Chitra was smiling. “I am so glad you came.” She said, “I am feeling much better now!” “Bye, see you soon!”

  As soon as they left the hospital, everyone started talking at the same time.
“Now I know why she eats alone. She told me that she always brings Poli-Bhaji or Bhaji-Bhakri in her tiffin and everybody else brings some snacks." “Actually, I love Bhaji-Bhakri. But my mother doesn’t get time to make all that in the morning so she gives me chivda or chips.” “Oh and She is always so nervous when anybody talks to her in school! It seems in the previous school, she was bullied. They laughed at her accent. So she was quite scared to interact” “Do you know she writes poetry? In fact, we are going to share our poems with each other when she is back.” The many qualities in her left them surprised. “Were we too quick to misjudge her?” they wondered.

  The next time they went to meet her at the hospital, they were much less apprehensive. They took along story books, drawing papers and crayons. They also kept her updated about the classwork and helped her do the homework.

  Chitra was back to school after two weeks. "Hello Chitra! Welcome back!" The group greeted her enthusiastically. Her leg was still in plaster and she was walking with the help of crutches. But now she was not alone. Every day, the whole group helped her climb the stairs to reach up to the class. Lunch break was a little different now. Instead of going down, they all spent the time in class reading and playing small games as Chitra couldn’t go down. And how they relished the tasty bhaji-bhakri or poli-bhaji in her tiffin! In fact, her mother sent some extra for them all. A beautiful, lasting friendship had flowered between them. And they welcomed it with open arms!

Thank You (A story of gratitude)

   (Published in Chhatraprabodhan)


It was a beautiful summer morning. Jay woke up in a happy mood. He had been looking forward to this day. It was his 13th birthday, a milestone! He had already made several plans. As he entered the dining room for breakfast, an appetizing aroma of freshly baked cake greeted him. 
‘Happy Birthday, Dada!’ His little sister came running down the stairs and flung her arms around him. ‘Here! I made you a greeting card,’ she said, handing him a colourful piece of paper. 
‘Listen, Neha, my friends are coming today. I don’t want you to disturb us with your silly antics. Understood?’ 
Neha just gaped at this, and before she could respond, Jay was off.

The whole day, Jay was pampered silly with gifts. His grandparents came with special sweets and his uncle gifted him a shirt. A long cherished dream of owning a mountain bike was fulfilled as his parents got him one. In the evening, his friends came along and they had a blast. They ordered pizza and cut the cake.

Even so, at the end of the day, Jay had a weird feeling as if something was missing.  He looked back at the day gone by. What was bothering him? He had had a lot of fun with his friends. But Jay was disappointed that his best friend couldn’t come to the party. How could he have missed it! 
Come to think of it, even the gifts were just average. The shirt was the wrong colour and the bike was not of his choice. And didn’t Grandpa remember how much he disliked sweets? On top of that, he was irritated with his mother’s constant prying and his father’s instructions. He was grown up now, a teenager no less! Why did they treat him like a baby? He went to bed later than usual, bothered to no end by these questions.

The following morning, a voice rang out loudly, jerking him out of sleep. “Jay! Jay!!” He trudged lazily down to the door, only to see that Sanmay was standing on the doorstep. “There you are,” he exclaimed when he saw Jay, and added with a frown, “Don’t tell me you forgot our trekking plan! Come on, get ready quickly. And hey, sorry again for not coming yesterday. I had no choice!” Nitya, Rehan and Bela too were waiting for Jay.

Jay’s mother appeared from the kitchen. She said, “Jay hasn’t had breakfast. Why don’t you all join him? First have some sabudana khichadi, then you can go on to your trek.” Who could say no to that? Everyone loved Jay’s mom’s cooking and they couldn’t resist staying. In any case, they had plenty of time to trek as it was their summer break, after all.

When they reached the hill, the sun was already up. Apart from a bunch of scruffy kids playing cricket, there was not a soul in sight. The air was pleasantly cool. They could hear the sounds of the city in a distance. The friends sat in the shade of a banyan tree, chatting.

Cheers and whoops from the kids caught Jay’s attention. He started observing them. They had a broken bat and a torn ball. Their shoes were in shambles. One of the children was even barefoot. But they were laughing and shouting with abandon. Idly, Jay started following their game. Their enthusiasm was infectious. At one point, the barefoot kid made such a great catch that Jay’s face broke into a grin.

He stood up and approached the group, meaning to join them in their game. His friends came along with him. By the time they stopped playing, it was late afternoon. They were drenched in sweat, their faces glowing red with exertion, and a cool breeze was blowing through their hair. They parted, promising to meet again. 
On the way back, Jay’s heart felt light. As they walked home, he looked up, noticing the dazzling blue sky and the rich green canopy of trees. He listened intently to the sweet chirping of the birds, as though for the first time. Glancing at his laughing friends, he didn't know why, but it felt as if a burden had lifted off his mind. He came home in a happy mood.

In the front yard, he saw his new bike, still untouched. He wondered how exciting it would be to take this out on a ride. 
“Jay, don’t you like this model?” His father asked him anxiously. “You didn’t seem happy with our surprise yesterday. Don’t worry. We can get it exchanged if you want. I have already spoken to the dealer.”
“Uh?” Jay felt a twinge of guilt. “No, it’s nice. I will try it out first and then we will see.” 
At dinner, Neha was unusually quiet. In an attempt to cheer her up, Jay said to her, “Neha, your greeting card is awesome! Bela’s birthday is coming up. Can you make a card for her? You know how terrible I am at art!” Jay said. 
The effect of his words was instantaneous. Neha laughed and happily agreed.

That night, as Jay lay in bed, he mused on the wonderful day he’d had. The hill, the match, the dazzling sun, it was all imprinted on his mind. What a lot of fun those kids were, though they were completely different from Jay and his friends. He had never thought he would enjoy playing cricket this much, that too with a broken bat! He was tired beyond belief! Jay was once again unable to sleep. But this time, it was not disappointment, rather a new nagging feeling that kept him up.

He thought of his displeasure last night, which had actually been for no particular reason. He had been in such a bad mood! He recalled how rude he was with Neha. How he had dismissed the loving gestures of his family! He wondered what had changed in a day.

He realized the kids on the hill had inadvertently wrought a change in him, and taught him to appreciate the little joys in life. That night, Jay gratefully thought of his warm family and vibrant school. He remembered the piles of gifts he had received. And how lucky he was to have a best friend who always supported him! There was no reason to grumble really! He let out a sigh of relief and said “Thank You!” to no one in particular. He fell asleep with his heart brimming with happiness and gratitude.

Tuesday, 15 October 2019

बॉयफ्रेंड- हवाच का?

 न्यू इयर पार्टीला आम्ही सगळे मित्रमैत्रिणी गेलो होतो. जाताना लक्षात आलं की मी आणि माझी एक मैत्रीण, अशा आम्ही दोघीच मागे राहिलो, बाकी सगळ्या त्यांच्या- त्यांच्या बॉयफ्रेंडबरोबर गाडीवर बसून गेल्या. शेवटी एका मुलानं कार आणली होती त्यात आम्हाला अ‍ॅडजस्ट केलं. इट वॉज सो एम्बॅरॅसिंग आणि हीच स्टोरी पार्टीभर रिपीट झाली. अशा वेळी मला बॉयफ्रेंड नाही याचं वाईट वाटतं. मुलांना मी गर्लफ्रेंड मटिरिअल वाटत नसेन का? पण खरं सांगायचं तर मला आत्ता बॉयफ्रेंडची गरजही वाटत नाहीये. बॉयफ्रेंड असायलाच हवा का सगळ्यांना? त्यासाठी मी काय करायला हवं?
-इरा
प्रिय इरा,
हॅपी न्यू इयर! या नव्या वर्षांसारखाच तुझा प्रश्नही एकदम रिफ्रेशिंग आहे. बऱ्याच मुली बॉयफ्रेंड नाही म्हणून चक्क डिप्रेशनमध्ये जातात! किंवा तो मिळविणे हा एकच ध्यास घेतात. म्हणूनच तुझी आत्ता गरज नाही ही अ‍ॅटिटय़ूड रिफ्रेशिंग आहे.
मित्र-मैत्रिणी असायला हवेतच. त्यांच्यामुळे सगळेच प्रसंग नाही म्हटलं तरी सोपे होत जातात. प्रश्न उरतो तो खास मित्र किंवा मैत्रीण असण्याचा म्हणजेच BF/GF असण्याचा. अशी खास मैत्री का हवीशी वाटते? तुझ्या वयात याला अनेक कारणं असतात. एकतर अनिवार शारीरिक ओढ. टीनएजमध्ये शरीरात वाढलेली हॉर्मोन्स मुलींना मुलांकडे आणि मुलांना मुलींकडे नॅचरली आकर्षित करतात. ‘तू आज छान दिसतेस’ असं मित्रानं सांगणं वेगळं आणि मैत्रिणीनं सांगणं वेगळं. मित्राची कमेंट अर्थातच अधिक थ्रिलिंग वाटते. हॅरी पॉटरच्या जादुई नगरीतलं ‘लव्ह पोशन’ घेण्यासारखा असतो हा हार्मोन्सचा प्रभाव. नक्की काय आणि का वाटतंय आपल्याला हे कळायच्या आधीच गुंतलं जातं. याचमुळे गोष्टी फार पुढे जाण्याचा, शारीरिक संबंधांचा धोका अगदी जवळच घुटमळत असतो.
अनेकदा पीअर प्रेशर म्हणजे आसपासच्या मित्रमंडळींचं प्रेशर मीडियामुळे बॉयफ्रेंड मस्ट वाटायला लागतो. आई-बाबांशी सारख्या लढाया, मैत्रिणी नसणं, नैराश्य, इन्फिरियॉरिटी कॉम्प्लेक्स अर्थात नकारात्मक स्वप्रतिमा, अशा काही गोष्टी मन नाजूक, हळवं करतात. अशा वेळी कुणी सिम्पथी दाखवली तर मन लगेच तिकडे ओढ घेते. आपल्याला शारीरिक आकर्षण वाटतंय की, फक्त आधाराची गरज वाटतेय की हे खरंच प्रेम आहे हे स्पष्ट होणं या वेळच्या इमोशनल गोंधळात अवघड असतं. या खास मित्रांकडे मन मोकळं करता येतं, त्याचा आधार वाटतो एवढं खरं. असं वाटायला लागतं की, मला फक्त हाच समजून घेऊ शकतो.
जिथे रिलेशनशिप, तिथे ब्रेकअप आला! तो होतो तेव्हा हे सगळे विचार उलटेपालटे होतात. शिवाय हे सगळं प्रकरण फार खर्चीक असतं, नाही का? कुणीतरी म्हटलंय की, मुलांना खूप पैसे खर्च करायला लागतात आणि मुलींना खूप वेळ! जोक्स अपार्ट, पण नंतर पश्चात्ताप करण्यापेक्षा लाइफ पार्टनरसारखा महत्त्वाचा निर्णय नीट पारखून, थांबून घेतलेला बरा.
मग मुलांशी मैत्री करायचीच नाही का? असा एकदम टोकाचा निर्णय घेण्यापेक्षा मिक्स ग्रुपमध्ये राहणं, केव्हाही चांगलं. तू आता ज्युनिअर कॉलेजमध्ये आहेस, तुला खूप दूरचा विचार करण्याची किंवा कमिट करण्याची घाई नाही. बॉयफ्रेंड मिळाला किंवा नाही मिळाला यावरून स्वत:ला जज करण्यानं आपण आपल्यालाच कारण नसताना कमीपणा देतो, स्वत:मध्ये काहीतरी दोष आहे असं समजतो. काहीजण तुला सल्ला देत असतील की तू जास्त आकर्षक दिसण्याचा प्रयत्न कर किंवा मुलांना आवडेल असं वाग, पण असं करून मिळालेला मित्र तुला आवडेल का? तू जशी आहेस तसं तुझं असणं अ‍ॅक्सेप्ट करणारा तो असायला हवा असं नाही तुला वाटत? एकूण काय, बॉयफ्रेंड असलाच तर आपल्या सीमारेषा ठरवून ठेवायच्या, पण त्याचवेळी ती काही जीवनावश्यक गोष्ट नाही हे लक्षात ठेवायचं, असं मला वाटतं. तुला काय वाटतं?

The perfect boyfriend doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t cheat… and doesn’t exist!

(Published in Viva Loksatta 17th January 2014)

  किशोरवय आणि जीवनकौशल्यं डॉ वैशाली देशमुख पूर्वप्रकाशित साप्ताहिक सकाळ समजा तुम्हांला कोशिंबीर करायची आहे. साधी टोमॅटो-कांद्याची. आणि...