I remember an anecdote published in Reader’s Digest.
“A young boy was to attend his graduation ceremony but
refused to cut his long sun bleached hair. The girls loved this untidy look of
the surfer. Years later when he became a successful businessman, he came to
visit his parents. When he saw his graduation day photographs, he exclaimed, ‘I
look awful! Why didn’t you make me cut my hair!’ ”
Fashion is a major component of the adolescent world. Every
morning anxious moments are spent on ‘what to wear’. The anxiety becomes
agonizing if there is a party or an outing. The parents may think that its trivial or unnecessary, but it looms large on the adolescent’s horizon. Usually,
the experimentation stems from the child’s desire to be accepted by the peers.
They don’t want to be left out.
And look at the available choices! Earlier, the boys
had only the same old shirts teamed with a ‘one colour matches all’ types
trousers. Nowadays, they sport designer
clothes, costume jewelry and streaked hair. The girls have a wider choice. They
also experiment with makeup, bags and tattoos.
Most of the times, these fads are just that, temporary
fads! With growing maturity and
increasing awareness about future and career, these extreme behaviours tone
down. The compulsive obsessions dry up.
But they can become a major source of parent-child
conflict! Actors and singers are the children’s role models. These youth
icons are not ‘ideal’ from parental point of view. The conflicts become more
severe if the grand parents are involved too. They find the attitudinal change
too radical and the costumes, outrageous.
It is very important to remember that grave addictions
like smoking, drinking and drug abuse can and do start as fashion.
Though parents may feel that ‘ek noor aadmi,das noor
kapda’ should not be the motto of life, they have to accept the adolescent
fashion as a temporary but necessary evil.
